Stop. Don't move.
Don't think, blink, or even so much as form a thought.
I wouldn't even breathe, if I were you.

Well okay maybe I went a bit overboard with the "don't breathe" bit, but all the same this is extremely important. So please put down your caffeine laden drink for a moment, since it will more than likely begin to get heavy and cause you to strain somewhat; which would then lead you to divert your attention from what I am about to say that will irrevocably change your life - if not the entire whole of life on this planet - at least as far as humans go (I have a sneaky suspicion that most house pets have had this information for some time).

What I am about to tell you has been the culmination of 22 years of intense personal study and observation added on to the exploits of countless other people - from the giants of intellectual thinking to the commonest laborer. And it is simply this:

I have proven through much effort and intense thought as well as the inspired and cunning use of pure mathematics, reason, and some rather long rambling sentences - that you are, in fact, in the exact state of mind, condition, and being that you should be at this moment in time in this particular dimension and universe.

From this simple statement is derived perhaps the most significant statement you have ever heard, read or considered. In fact you have always longed to hear it, even if you didn't know it. Perhaps even a few of the more daring among you have been brave enough to think it once or twice but dared not to believe it - but here it is now for your viewing pleasure:

Yes, that's right, you are in fact, and always have been right about everything you have ever thought, done or thought about doing in your life.
    Pretty neat huh?

Of course some of you will stop at this point, realizing that you, in reality, knew this all along. And to those brothers and sisters out there I bid you a fond hello and would be more than honored to meet your esteemed acquaintance - at last I find my people. But of course I can also hear the chorus of nay sayers who are already whining out loud at the top of their voices," How can everyone be right !?! That's impossible, somebody has to be wrong and somebody has to be right, not everybody can be simultaneously right!!"
To those who think I must admit that the nay sayers have just proved the above statement to be false - since if I admit they are right, then I would be admitting that my statement is in fact false and so on...I would have to but say ah, such sweet, simple minds.
To the undoubtedly dense nay sayers I would instead reply that the mere close-mindedness of their statement shows a decided lack of higher intelligence, and a rather narrow vision. Thus qualifying them for the exalted status of an idiot-class1 , and excluding them from any application of the above statement to themselves. Simply put if you can not see the truth of the above statement now or by the end of this Treastie, you are an idiot-class1 or maybe even an idiot class1-mark4 and thus will never get it.
For the rest of you more enlightened and open minded seekers of the truth I will continue on in order to better explain how I came to this conclusion as succinctly as possible, so as to provide ammunition against the idiots of this world and help us to achieve the exalted state of the typical house pet.

The Underlying Logic, Proof and Application of the Treastie That You Are Right

Martin Luther once uttered the immortal phrase, "The Whore called reason." Well I am not only here to tell you she is, in fact a whore, but that she'll also cook you some eggs & flapjacks in the morning, give you the $50 bucks, and spakle your sheet-rock to boot. (author. note - Of course when I do say whore I mean it in the metaphorical sense of the word and in no offense to those special "ladies of the night" which bring untold amounts of pleasure to people all over the world for a nominal fee, as I am sure Martin Luther intended as well, unless of course he was privy to a more thorough knowledge of them, perhaps first hand, that I am not..but I digress...actually if the truth be told, I only put the word "whore" in this essay to increase the number of "hits" we get from one-search-engine-yahooin'-porno-searchin-people who are looking for said word. To those people who may have dropped in accidentally I would entreat them to stay awhile and perhaps learn something of value and meaning to their lives. If not, then please be sure to keep those Nikki Dial pics coming!)
Not being one to think of a "formal" mathematical proof to be an adequate illustration of the point I am trying to make, I will instead take an example and apply the logical sequence that I came up with. This can then be applied to any given situation to prove that you are in fact right. Let us take a simple example for the first illustration:

(author. note - this proof only applies to beliefs and other related states of mind at the current time. Application of this line of reasoning to actions produces some major problems, not the least of which is the resultant answer is to stand very still and do absolutely nothing -least of all think of what to do next - owing to the unfortunate problem of accidentally proving existence really is absurd and meaningless and that the answer to life really is 6 x 9 = 42. However this anomaly will be discussed further in later editions.)

example #1 The pretty little equation

Statement:

I believe in the existence of an all powerful 30 foot chicken as THE deity in the universe.

Question:

Is this a valid belief or am I a lunatic?

Reasoning:

Let us for a moment assume that I do in fact exist as an entity.
Let us also assume for a moment that this entity I designate as ME believes that in fact, an all powerful 30 foot chicken is THE deity in the universe.

where Me is me (duh)
B = belief
and I believe the rest is self-explanatory

thus the Answer is pretty little equation:

Me + B = 30ft. chicken-deity

What's that I hear....some hemming and hawing out there...or was it more a whinny baby cry that went something along the lines of "but you haven't really proven anything!" ah, such sweet simple minds....

Okay let me demonstrate how this elegant little equation (did I already mention how very nice it was?) stands up to your criticism.

example #2 Proving/Testing equation #1

here's our very nice sample equation again:

Me + B = 30 ft. chicken/deity

now here's the loud mouth shnook's objection, let this be designated as LMSO.

There: Me + B = 30 ft. chicken deity / (LMSO)

The Secret:

The secret is the simple variable known as the i. What is the i factor you say? No it does not stand for the imaginary square root of a negative 1 (my keyboard lacks the fancy number symbol thingys). It is a much more powerful variable. Well in actuality it's not really a variable, it's more a constant, but it is variable depending on the LMS. See the i is the idiot factor. eh? what's the idiot factor you say? What are you an idiot!...sorry lost my temper there for a moment...no the idiot factor is the factor by which said LMS is hampered by their own idioticness The LMSO must be "corrected" by this value in order to be meaningful in real world applications. Now let's plug in our little i value for this particular LMS.

Pretty little equation:

Me + B = 30 ft. chicken

Ugly equation:

[PLE (Pretty little equation) / Loud mouth shnook objection]
Me + B = 30 ft. chicken-diety / LMSO

LMSO, corrected by idiot factor and the PLE:

Me + B = 30 ft. chicken-deity / (LMSO / i)
where i = infinity (in this case)

which reduces to our original pretty little equation:

Me + B = 30 ft. chicken-deity

Review - Final Thoughts in the Proof That You Are Right:

So let's review:

step #1 - Idea
step #2 - break idea down into basic constituent parts
step #3 - codify and formalize the basic idea parts into a pretty little equation.

Conclusion

Well I hope that this little idea nugget helps you in your daily life.
Use it whenever you start to question what it is you believe in, what you are thinking or even what you might be wearing on the front of your shirt from lunch. And just remember this, some people in this world get it, and the rest are mm-boppin' along waiting to get darwinized...